Silent Devotion
by Amazonian Anime Queen
Summary: The beginning was simple, it started out as only a physical relationship. Royai drabbles
1. Martyrdom Suicide

Yes, another set of Royai drabbles, I enjoy them so much. With these drabbles, you will notice a theme of something/something. Sometimes contradicting, or it may be related. With my writing, you'll see a few odd philosophies or a bit of etymology. Not much, I assure you.

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**Silent Devotion**

**Chapter One:**

**Martyrdom/Suicide**

Summary: Often she finds him drawing arrays in the sign, recognizing the symbols. Where was the line drawn at with martyrdom or is it considered suicide?

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Again, she walked in to find Major Mustang drawing in the sand, his mind focusing in a world she cannot see. What troubles him so that she cannot even comfort him? In due time, she always say to herself. How long will it be before he tries to attempt this elaborate suicide?

She knows her Major, her Roy, she feared for him, she loved him. She knew he wasn't the young boy she met years ago, he was a broken man ruled by orders and guilt.

She collapsed behind him as she wrapped his arms around him. Fraternizing or not, they were vulnerable, and they were hopeless and stupid. They need some reason to remain alive, that reason slowly fading away.

"Come back to me, Roy." She whispered in his ears as he placed his hands on hers

A slight pause came as he looked up focusing only on her hands. His thoughts drifted toward the battle. What price would he have to pay for redemption? His sins weighed heavily on his soul, no matter how much he thought about it, there were very few things he could do about it.

"Riza...What's the difference between martyrdom and suicide?"

His question shocked her as she tried to get a better look at his face

"A martyr is someone who dies for a belief, principal, or cause." She answered, true to her blunt nature

An odd way, considering the lengths she will and had gone with this man, can one consider her a martyr? Or will it be suicide considering she would willingly give up her life for him? For this broken man...or is it stupidity? It's not something she could answer as easily.

She felt the ignition cloth on his hands, carefully removing them. In his frame of mind, she feared what he would do to himself.

She placed the gloves in her pockets shocked at how easy it was to get them. What was going through this man mind? Usually it would've been difficult to even touch him, thankfully his depression hasn't deepened. She fears what would happen if did, or what she might've seen.

"What would be your definition of suicide?" She gazed at him for a moment

"When someone loses the will to survive." In definition, it could partially describe him at the moment. "If you wanted to kill yourself, you could've done it a long time ago, you're afraid." She said taking a deep breath.

The words hit him because he knew she was right, this was a war-zone. He scoffed softly. He could've easily died. Why was he still alive? Questions, there were too many and no answer.

He sighed softly as his dark eyes stared back at hers. What was exactly going through her mind? He felt guilty to drag her through all of this. It was his battle, not hers. He felt comfort knowing she will be there, not abandon him will a rag doll soon as the hard times hit.

"Riza, I hate your logic at times." Was his only response as she shook her head lightly. She was his subordinate, not his psychiatrist. She was willing to be there for him as long as it takes, for to guide him and to care for him.


	2. Conversational

Well, since I'm starting a habit of writing two/three chapters a week, this just seems to fit. So here's the next chapter. Since I'm working on four or five stories, expect the unexpected! Since I have another chapter half written, you may see another update soon.

_SaffireMoon21: Now with more to read._

_Neopyrocitrine: Continuing!_

_JackSparrow589: Much as I dislike P!atD Their song titles make interesting story ideas._

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_Summary: It was never unusual to find Riza Hawkeye hard at work during lunch. Nor was it odd for her to have a light conversation with Hughes._

**Chapter Two:**

**Conversational**

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At lunch, she found it was the best time to finish her work as most people have left the building for the next hour or so. This also means she doesn't have to babysit Colonel Mustang.

Also, she had a few odd visits from Lieutenant Colonel Hughes. Once you get past his obsession with pictures, he's actually one of the wisest people she ever met. Which explains how he and Roy are close friends or why Hughes hasn't met his death in an inferno yet.

She found herself playing with two rings on a necklace, usually she has them hidden in private she often finds herself wondering...

"Lieutenant Hawkeye, I'm surprised to see you here." Hughes said as she placed with the necklace back in her shirt looking toward him "It's a beautiful day outdoors, maybe you should step outside for once."

"I very rarely do I leave the office when I am at work, Lieutenant Colonel, you of all people should know that." She replied as he sat down in a nearby chair

"It's an unusual sight to see anyone in the building, still. What were you playing with earlier?" He asked

"Nothing important, sir." She answered simply

"Since there's we're friend Hawkeye, drop the sir or at least for now."

"All right, Hughes." I'll try my best not to."

"From what I saw, they look oddly like wedding rings." He said looking at his as he started rambling "Ah, I've been trying to convince Roy to find a wife for years!" He said with a light grin looking up toward her.

"I hear. I'm surprised the Colonel hasn't destroyed the telephone yet from your conversations."

"You still haven't answered my question, Hawkeye."

"The rings, if you really want to know, belonged to my parents." She sighed "My father wanted me to use them as my wedding rings."

"I know a perfect man for you." He said with a familiar grin

She chuckled softly as she shook her head, he was really hard bent on see that happen.

"You never give up, even if I did want to married him, I couldn't."

"You can always retire to bypass that rule."

"Hughes, don't be foolish. I wouldn't trust Mustang alone in his office all day. I don't even trust him for to be alone for an hour! He'll never start on his work without someone forcing him."

"Maybe coming home to you may give him an incentive to finish his work quickly."

She scoffed softly at the idea. Really, she and Roy married, even though the idea interested her, it wasn't going to happen. Too many possibilities and consequences, too much fear on her behalf.

"As we both know, the Colonel has a few enemies and at times rush into things without thinking. What if he doesn't come home one day? What if I could've prevented his death." She paused for a moment thinking of the idea of that happening "I don't believe I can live with myself if it _does_ happen. That's why I intend to stay in the military, for to protect him and to see that he makes it to his goal, without distractions."

Maes simply had to admire Riza. He has never seen anyone so devoted as she was to Roy. Maybe, in an odd way, their relationship was somewhat like a marriage. Trust, respect, and understand, those are the basis. He glanced at the clock before quickly getting up.

"Ah, seemed that lunch is almost over. I guess we can finish this conversation in another time."

"Of course, I prefer to keep this subject closed."

"I understand, the rumors are bad enough as it is. Besides, most here cannot keep a secret. Especially when it can cause destruction."He was understanding in this matter, there was no need to push this subject "Before I leave, how about a picture of Elysia has grown so...beautiful..." He paused as Riza glared up at him before slowly walking backward, "Another time then." He said quickly exiting

She had to smirk to herself. It wouldn't be too hard to keep Roy in line. A glare always seemed to solve most problems.


	3. Respect Fear

I often find myself writing two, three versions of one chapter to use. I started off with this one, but decided, nah... Wrote another one, I feared that was going to become a lemon. Then I wrote part of a chapter that was extremely cute! I didn't want to overdose you guys in Elysia's cuteness! Down Hughes! Psst, my birthday is March 8th. I want reviews as my presents if I don't write before then XD.

**_Citrine: _**Aw thank you. This story is easy for me to update, I think too much

**_Saffire: _**_Bad Saffie! Laziness is a horrible thing calling the kettle black_

**_Dreximgirl: _**I can imagine Hughes and Riza being close friends. After all, he works in Intelligence and knows a lot of vital information. It can be also trusted he can keep a secret.

**_Winglessfiary: I never proofread. It wouldn't take me ten seconds. I'm lazy._**

**_JackSparrow: _**Hughes is so damn enjoyable. I just love using him.

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_Summary: With respect, there's always a hint of fear within. For to fear, you must respect. Where is the line drawn?_

**Chapter Three:**

**Respect/Fear**

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In the sense of the word, respect, to Roy Mustang, is when you hold someone in high regard for their skill and achievement. Also, that you have due regards for a person feeling. With his alleged womanizing, he probably wouldn't qualify as respectful in any manner.

Respect, that's only reserved to his subordinates, the one who proved their loyalty to him. His relationship with Riza Hawkeye was one he couldn't exactly explain himself. Never had he met a woman that was determined, or one that he feared. He didn't fear her for her guns, unlike most of the office.

What he feared most was losing her. She helped him by mothering his career. By making sure that he didn't stray off his path, while she could possibly surpass him in rank. She even dealt with him when he was at his lowest, whereas most women probably would've left him for dead. Where would he be without her?

Respect, for Riza Hawkeye, is something she rarely give. To those she did give respect to, also earned her loyalty. In a contradicting view she was in the military where she is forced to show respect, her loyalties only stays with him. She didn't care that she nursed him out of his depression, it showed that he needed her.

They walk a very thin line, respect and fear. They feared the results of what may happen to each other. The respected each other enough not to cross boundaries.


	4. Deciphering Confusion

I'm feeling slightly philosophical, so it might reflect in my writing Hehe... Last chapter I've written had the most reviews I saw in a bit. I feel a bit proud and embarrassed. I feel that I'm a bit too wordy(or poetic) Or I think too much at time, all depending on how I'm feeling. I'm too much of a philosophical person and with these two characters, I can express it more.

I'll wait: Yay, another reader!

**Neopyrocitrine**: You aren't too late Just in time! Someone special, hmm? I'll try to keep up.

**Saffire**: I have a very inappropriate chapter -cough cough- halfway done, don't expect it

**dreximgirl**: No beta, I'm quite actually a lazy person.

**Jacksparrow589**: I think that's why I love the fandom, it's mature. Realistic that you can't act upon your feelings.

**Roy Mustang 08**: Thank you

**Bella Rose01**: I come to find out, many people do. I guess it's quite obvious.

**Lady Lola Laflaunda**: Why thank you

**Winglessfairy25:** I like to think of Roy as a bit of a dependant person, especially to those he comes closet too.

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_Summary: His words, often was one of a poet. The more you try to read into the meaning, the more it can lead you astray. Her words, blunt and to the point with a hidden quality of elegance_.

**_Chapter Four:_**

**_Deciphering/Confusion_**

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Speaking with Roy Mustang can sometime lead to many problems. His words can often be conflicting and treasonous. Or as if his words are being guided by a poet hand.

Riza Hawkeye's words always as straight and to the point with an odd amount of subtly to them. He always found it fascinating in her underlying subtlety.

She watches, with almost with strange sadism as he reads over reports from the past. Torturing himself in his naive idealism. Emotions he rarely shows to anyone else, she wondered should she be honored or concerned. There were many ways of comforting him, but few she could do outright.

She took a deep breath before speaking, "Sir, why do you torture yourself?"

"Torture myself? I doubt torture is the word... it's an odd practice, this... it's more of a guidance, quite foolish."

"Foolish? I think not."

"Who tortures themselves over this? I should be able to move on, after all, years have passed."

"I believe you're becoming a philosopher, who else tortures themselves such?"

A small smirk played at his lips releasing her slightly cynical joke.

"What if this is nothing but foolish idealism?"

"I believe you know the answer." She answered simply

"How exactly do I know that?"

"I wouldn't be standing here."

Comfort. There was an odd sense to her words. Sometimes, he had to wonder at her intentions, was it because she wanted to be here. The fact she felt obliged to stay because she knows he needs her. Both can be confusing in their word games, the only safe way they feel they could communicate.

"Don't become a martyr for something you don't believe."

"Then don't lose faith in my judgement."

A simple exchange of words, depending on views can mean a lot. She knows his decisions can be brash, by any means, she refuses to see him stray off his path. Simple idealism, foolish in words can have a strong impact in reality.


	5. Hair

Be nice with the reviews, I'll put up an omake by Wednesday. Yes, I sometimes have chapters written in advance. Although I am pretty happy(and proud) at the moment.

**_Saff_**: I'm too lazy to finish the inappropriate chapter. I need to water it down. Will a lime do?

**_Jacksparrow589_**: I often confuse people, sorry. With me, you have to read it bluntly and subtlety.

**_Winglessfairy25_**: I have a habit of causing people to think

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_Summery: He hated the innocent looks that short hair gave her._

_**Chapter Five:**_

_**Hair  
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_**  
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He hated it when her hair was cut short, or it could've been plain resentment. Her hairstyle seemed to betray her, portraying the illusion of an innocent woman. Would anyone call a sniper innocent? Can you call a woman who saw so much bloodshed that it has changed her demeanor, innocent? The person who won't hesitate to kill for him? This was a hypocritical statement, if anything his hands were dirtier.

The rare time he does have the chance to see Hawkeye hair down, it's enough to turn him into a fumbling poet. Her hair simply shows her true nature, elegant, mature, the simple aesthetics of it all. Or it could be the simple fact that he simply wants to stroke her hair. The act in hand would be too intimate for them, for him. To betraying of their relationship.

His hair often betrays his age and character- so playful and carefree, much as a young child. Although, she could help but wonder if she was raising a child at times. She looks in amazement at him. His image can be terribly deceiving. Arrogant? No, he simply knows his limit. Cold? She would've been left him.

His hair combed back showed the more adult side of his nature, often somber. Also, it can be his lowest point when he where his hair in that style. Forced to face reality, that yes, this world is rarely perfect. His idealism, on hold for a moment. During this time, she often observes him, hiding his trouble nature and his selflessness. Questioning himself, wondering is it worth it? She wished she could whisper words of comfort to him.

She can say that he's a multifaceted person. Often holding on to his dreams, much like a child. He knows his limit, after all, reality has a way of slipping you in the face.


	6. Omake

As you may notice, I'm too lazy to put up a summery.

**Unheardgoodconscience**: Thank you, also thanks for the belated birthday wish!

**Wingless**: I think this should be error free. I rarely notice my own errors. Hm, you have to love his complex nature.

**Bella Rose**- Doh! I could've sworn I could that error. Yes, I meant slapping. -is an idiot, forgive her-

**Lola**: I quite like my drabbles myself XD

**Jacksparrow589**: Yeah, hair do make a person look good. (Although Armstrong ricking the bandness well!)To pull a Saff(Roy fangirl extraordinaire) However his hair is, he's still sexy. XD

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Omake!

He always followed the principle, when in doubt, call Hughes or Hawkeye. Since he couldn't exactly turn to Hawkeye for this problem, Hughes was his best bet. Unfortunately, as he liked to put it, he was surrounded by eccentrics.

"Hello?"

"Hughes, I've been having a problem with Hawkeye..."

"Oh, what's the matter? Couldn't get it up?" He teased Roy

"Hughes..." He said in a warning voice

"I'm sure it happens to the best of us."

"For your information, I'm not having any problem in that area. Now be a true friend and actually help me. Not insult me." He said tensely

"You know you just admitted to a relationship."

"I swear if you mention the word 'Marriage' I will burn you til you're unrecognizable."

"Oh, I won't Roy. I hope Elysia has a new playmate soon!" He said with a light chuckle.

"Hughes, I'll call you back." He tried to remain calm as he spoke with his friend, but he continues to play with fire. He gently placed the phone on the receiver. Light sparkles came from his glove as he tried to calm himself.

"Had another conversation with Hughes, sir?" Riza asked as she placed another stack of papers on his desk "This needs to be done by 4:00 P.M. today. Please do not take your anger out on the paperwork this time."

He groaned softly as he looked at the next pile. He'd rather speak with Hughes than this.

He looked toward the phone as it started ringing and answered it. "Hello, Colonel Mustang office."

"If the baby is a boy can you name him after me?"

"Damn you, Maes! Get off my case!" He growled as he slams the phone on the hook.

"Your gloves." Riza said as she held her hand out

"Oh, why? This is perfect anger management!" He whined

"Remember the last time you did your 'anger management' and you were close to one of my spare guns?"

"Oh yeah..." He mumbled as he reluctantly gave up his gloves


	7. Trust Betrayal

I believe I'm smitten with my drabbles.

Saffire: Will this do? Not limey unless you want to go further in your mind.

Jacksparrow589: One of my friends, she reminds me of Hughes a lot at times. She's extremely intelligent, but so damn goofy!

Steff7: Thank you.

Shirozora: Well, I'm more of a humor writer. Since I wanted to lighten up the fics a bit, I pull one of my favorite characters.

Lola: It would be terrible if I hated my works XD

Winglessfairy: I'm so slow, it took me a minute or two trying to spot the difference. We wouldn't want Mustang to kill himself.

Bella-Rose: I know, but its simple mistakes that kill me.

Random Scribbles: Thanks

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_Summary: She hated how her feelings betrayed her._

**Chapter Seven:** (Six actually, but let's not get into technicalities.)  
**Trust/Betrayal**

She could feel his breath on her neck as his arms wrapped around her. His lips meeting hers, her mind wiping out all existence and focusing on them. Why did her body betray her so? One push, one word, this was going too far. All her years of denial shattering. Yet, nothing ever felt more in place than this.

She felt all her fantasy come alive as she felt herself falling onto the couch, his back hit against the cushion. How could this man turn her into a giddy schoolgirl? She was already beyond the point of no return, if they get caught this moment, she wouldn't have any regrets.

His barrier was that she was nothing more than his subordinate, his friend, has fallen in a whim. Once he sets his sight on someone, it's only a matter of time. He didn't want to live with the fact he could lose her to someone else. He knows he can easily lose her, just a matter or orders.

He was shocked. She allowed him this far without pushing away, using the same formalities, the same excuses. It was always the same, his career, fraternization... He knows personally the consequences, quite frankly, he didn't give a damn. For once, he was trusting his feelings.

She had a faint blush on her face as she looked up at him. He had to wonder, what fate he forced upon them?

"I never knew you had it in you, Riza."

"You'll see more if you stop speaking." She teased mocking his smirk

He pulled her hair out of the clip as he admired her in the moonlight. He could see the conflicting emotions in her eyes before speaking

"I don't want to force you into anything you're not comfortable with."

"I believe you shouldn't worry about that." She gave him a reassuring look.

With certainty, they knew they were going to be in it for the long haul. Being in a relationship with a military officer can be horrific enough. Just to cross the line, when will the emotional involvement will be too much? How a simple gesture can give everything away.

He rested his her on top of hers as he held her closer. He was slightly surprised at how soft her hair was.

They didn't care for anything now. They were trusting their instincts, hoping it wouldn't become their betrayal.

"What now?"

As for now, all they can do is enjoy the moment and acknowledge each other feelings. Wherever the consequences may lie.


	8. In other words

For some odd reason, I can't imagine Roy and Riza to bluntly say "I love you." Hey, I'm bored and you'll have something cute.You notice how I change the boldness/italics/underlining sometimes. I always found it funny that I did, because my dumb self is so forgetful XD

**_WinglessFairy_**: Well, I wanted this one to be more serious. Since I'm very over dramatic, it seems to help in cases.

**_Lola_**: -sniffs- Never knew my writing was so impacting. Now for I can try harder

**_Jacksparrow_**: I needed a blatant royai chapter. What better way than to use that? It was a bit hard for me to describe it, so I winged it. As big of vocabulary as I have, I never know the right words. My friends regard me at the nerd. looks at undone homework I'll pass...hopefully

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_Summary: Poets often use many words to say a simple thing_

**Chapter Eight:  
In other words...**

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Riza sighed softly as she helped her commander finish his paperwork. Most people would've left him to finish his own work, but she rarely trusts him alone. Quite honestly, she did enjoy the time alone she did have with him. 

He paused for a moment as he stretched out his fingers yawning softly. It was one of the rare times he deliberately procrastinates.

"If we're going to finish before dawn, you should get back to work."

"Slavedriver." He muttered under his breath

"Someone has to push you to the top." She said raising a brow, wondering what was going on in his head. She has better luck teaching Hayate how to write then to figure him out.

"Je t'aime, Je t'aime Riza."

"Te quiero."

She smiles softly at the small exchange. More of their hidden word games, how far it will be until they were discovered.

"But that doesn't mean I won't shoot at you if you don't finish your work."

He scoffs playfully "You know, most women would love to be in this _situation _with me."

"As you said, _most_."


	9. Bedside Chatter

**Lola**: Thanks

**Winglessfairy**: In Italian and French, I love you. Seems as if Roy can never win a battle. We all know how Roy is overwork. My fried, we tease each other in affection(Prostitution is the most common theme.)

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_Summary: He wonders how he's going sleep without her beside him._

**Chapter Nine:**

**Bedside Chatter**

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He placed an arm around her waist, even though the cot was small it manage to fit the two of them. He wondered how he'll ever return to sleeping alone after the massacre is over. He can try to convince to leave the military and marry him, but she'll refuse. Why does she have to be so stubborn?

She was too young for to experience this, she was supposed to be out, have friends, be happy. Not a miserable young girl who has the eyes of a murderer.

She turned toward him wondering what was on his mind. She carefully turned toward him. Her shoulder was bruised from the recoil of her rifle. If the doctor seen this she'll be in deep trouble or would he even care? For to show him her shoulder, there's a chance he'll see her back. That alone was too much of a risk.

"Why are you still awake?"

"No reason." He said. Yes, he will definitely miss her company at night.

"It doesn't seem like it, Roy."

"I was thinking, what you wont leave the military?" He asked as he pulled out her dog tags looking at the rings. "It would be nice to place the rings where they truly belong." He said as he gently places a hand on her stomach "Maybe a family?"

"There's nothing you can say that can make me leave, and that's final."

"If someone caught us in this...position-"

"Will they honestly discharge us when they are in war? Only thing that matters is if we live, if we die, just another casualty." She didn't mean for it to come out so harshly. They couldn't easily return as it was, this was one of the few times that they actually felt human. She felt like a machine, a prop used for killing.

"I suppose they won't." He sighed in defeat "There's still the chance of afterwards. Rumors can spread quickly."

"We should try to keep our distance then." She sighed "There aren't many things that we can do publically."

"Unfortunately."

"As for now, can you please go to sleep?"

"Since we are up..."

She glared at him coldly before speaking "Good night, try to keep your hormones down."

"Not that easy to do." He mumbled softly

"I trust you."


	10. Desperation

This should've been up Thursday, but I couldn't upload T.T Sorry!

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Saffire: Perverted Roy is fun to use.

MakoRain: All restrains are use for this fic won't become a M. Elysia needs a playmate doesn't she? XD Hughes is a great deal of help and a brave man for risking his neck.

Forgottenspirit: Thanks

Neopyrocitrine: I inspired you! -sniff sniff- I feel so proud. School is tough for me too.

Silver Mist: I still tickle the funny bone :3

Jack Sparrow: I hope you do well on your essay!

Lola: Yay!

Summary: No matter how hard she scrubs, the blood and gunpowder will remain.

Chapter Ten:

Desperation

She studied the blade as she stood in the shower. No matter how hard she scrubs, the scent of gunpowder and blood will never leave her skin. The war has been over for months and her acts continued to haunt her still.

Is this the feeling you have when your psyche starts crumbing down? Suicide...the thought used to make her feel scorn. No longer did it seemed so idiotic to her. The idea of it feels so pleasant to her. So forgiving, not cursing her for taking the lives of many.

The idea of seeing her blood going down the drain seemed oddly masochistic. An odd symbolism of the possibility her sins will finally be cleansed. She was a murderer, she was too cowardly to face her victims' face to face to look them in the eye. She hid behind a rifle.

She did have Roy to lean on, someone she could share the feeling with, but that is all in the past. She was picking up the pieces from him for so long, listening to his thought. The offer was more than returned to her. She could piece it together then. She dropped the blade as she felt herself collapsing into tears.

Is this what it is like to live in such an insatiable hell?


	11. Death The End

I'm sorry I haven't updated lately. I've been extremely lazy. It's a habit. So this chapter probably isn't as higher quality as my other chapters (The narcist in me says, it's better than the other stuff out there XD) Odd thing I never like is the depiction of the Emo!Roy. Just odd for me. I think I might've contradicted myself in this chapter. Oh, this isn't the last chapter!

Neopyrocitrine: hands tissue I hope you're alright now.

Saffire: Have you been writing lately? XD

OneMoreBite: No littering! Thank you

Winglessfairy25: Thanks

Lola: I've been trying to write in more varied styles. Comedy and Angst seems what I excel in O.O

OTP: Thanks

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_Summary: He often learned in literature, bells often hold great symbolism into events. The most famous of being is death_

**_Chapter Eleven:_**

**_Death/The End_**

He often learned in literature, bells often hold great symbolism into events. The most famous of being is death. Every time he hears those damnable bells, the flashback of her death haunted him. When he's awake, when he's asleep, one torturous day after another.

Her pale blood soaked skin, her hair unruly. The disbelief and shook overcame him. She wasn't supposed to be the intended victim. He was, now he's paying dearly. He might as well have murdered her. She was his closest connection. She paid the price, they were warning him of what may happen if he gets ahead of himself.

A fact he's been trying to run away from most of his life is now staring him back in his face. Roy Mustang is a murderer. He's no better than that bastard, Barry the Chopper. Hell, even he admits that he's a murderer.

Now he's standing in front of the grave stone of the only woman he could ever love. She stood to her words, that she'll protect him. How ironic, who's going to protect him now? She's was the only reason why his sanity ever held after Hughes' death. The one person who wasn't afraid to challenge him.

Now what's left behind? Absolutely nothing.


	12. Fear Control

I'm trying not to write depressing things. I remember when it used to be so hard to write it, not it flows to me so fluidly. It took me three tries to get this chapter written. I feel out of place with comedy. I guess I have to get back into the motion of writing again.

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Bella- We just have to hope Roy an d Riza live into old age for neither one won't have to experience it. (Although, Roy ways may shorten his life span.)

Saffire- I need to read it someday, but I'm so lazy.

Wingless- You was crying hands belated tissue Death, it can get to someone.

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_**Chapter Twelve:**_

_**Fear/Control**_

"Her, as a calender girl?" Breda asked as he looked toward Riza before turning back to Havoc "She... I don't know, it's almost scary."

Havoc looked at the photograph for a moment as he sneaked toward the corner "It look a lot like her...except younger..."

"Her hair was shorter. The features are exactly identical, maybe we can ask Fury to take a further look..."

Roy sighed softly as he looked at the two wondering what type of trouble they're planning. Best to observe this for a little.

"If that is the Lieutenant, I have to say, she has a fine body." Havoc softly with a whistle. "I wonder does age do a fine thing with a body."

Lieutenant, first, is they speaking of First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye. The Hawkeye that he knows? Taking pictures like that? No...it couldn't be...or he would've discovered them by now at least. If anything, he had to admit they were bold. Given how well her hearing is.

"So, what exactly are you looking at boys?" He asked as he walked casually toward them as they desperately tried to hide the calender.

"Oh, nothing sir." Breda said with a nervous chuckle. They know how protective of the Colonel is with 'his' Lieutenant. Quite honestly, he would burn them unrecognizable is they discover this.

"Really, I sure Havoc doesn't whistle to a desk very much." He said with a smirk enjoying their scared looks. It was a good thing Fury wasn't around or he might've fainted. He finally was able to get a glance at the pictures "So this what you guys were looking at."

"Um...yes sir..." Havoc said with his head bowed as he backed slowly to prevent his oncoming doom

"Don't worry. I'm not going to hurt you." He said as his smirk growing wider "But she might. And to answer your question, age does a very good thing to the body."

"How would you know?" Havoc asked as his and Breda's eyes widen

"I always knew they wasn't doing paperwork..." Breda comment

"It's just a guess really." He said realized he just jeopardized his life as he caught a glimpse of the fury in Riza's eyes "But, um, I have paperwork, yes, that's it!" He said as he walked backwards slowly

"What did you say earlier, Colonel?" Riza asked calmly tapping on her gun

He paused thinking of a perfect answer, but his mind ran blank "No matter what I say, you're going to shoot me, correct?" He asked as he got a cold nod in response as she tapped her gun "Can I have a five second running start?" He asked as he noticed that Breda and Havoc was slowly living with room. "No." She said clicking off the safety "Oh hell..." He mutter running out the room along with Breda and Fury.

She paused as she turned off the safety of her gun going toward the desk. "The idiots." She mutters taking up the calender destroying it.

Hayate looked at her curiously as she petted him going to her desk "Your daddy is a dead man, along with Havoc and Fury." She smirked to herself. She enjoyed the fact that she can scare one of the finest State Alchemists with just a look.


	13. Comfort

Kurissyma: Why, thank ya kindly.

Darksamurai: I can't exactly imagine Roy as an emo, but that's his most recognize form here. Sometimes, you have to take artistic licence

Saffire: Maybe I should do a balls shot off scene XD

Bella: Curiosity always kills someone XD

Neo: I hope you enjoy this one.

Wingless: What's my story without errors.

Your favorite plushie: Are you Miromi? Joke aside, I don't think Riza is trigger happy. Just scare happy XD

* * *

**_Chapter Thirteen:_**

**_Comfort_**

He noticed during his years in the military, people find comfort in many ways. Some, in alcohol. Others in women. Some people never could find comfort, or they only find comfort in death.

Sometimes he has nightmares of his days in Ishbul. He finds himself constantly washing his hand, trying to wash away the blood on his hands. The stains remain, haunting him.

Many nights, his dear friend liked to haunt him, taunting him about his dream. Asking how many more will die for him.

It seems like an unforgivable nightmare, only difference is he often finds himself thinking about it when he's awake. There's so much a person can do, before their demons overcome them.

Was he possibly paying for his sins? He wasn't a religious man at all, free will comes the ability to 'sin' or however you'd like to call it. As a scientist, he could worry about if some God found this acceptable.

He always found his comfort in alcohols on his worse nights. The ones where the only recollection of the night is the empty bottle and a hangover. Where he wakes up to find his other comfort, his Lieutenant.

The guilt often rises in him, he knows she stayed up all night caring for him, for he wouldn't lose his job.

She was always a woman of sacrifice. He knows that she'll never betray him, all of which makes him feels guilty. She should be married, happy, away from him.

Let's face reality, he knows that's impossible. Maybe before she joined the military and stayed her distance from him, it might've been a different story. Her many demons from Ishbul, it can only take someone who was there to relate to her.

All that mattered to him now is that she's comforting him, without complaints, without fuss.


	14. FlowersRain

Laziness prevented me from writing very much. I apologize with this chapter. 

**_Live4him4eva:_** Well, I enjoy light heart things in general. I hate how...depressing these drabbles can become. So, I needed a mood lifter.

**_Neopyrocitrine_**: Yay, next chapter, Roy is a womanizing alcoholic. I kid, I don't believe I can actually write it. At least not a well written one.

**_Winglessfairy:_** I like writing about their experiences of Ishbul, even though I don't know much.

* * *

**_Chapter Fourteen:_**

**_Flowers/Rain_**

He felt miserable every time he came to his grave. Given how he tortures himself coming here, he wonders if he a secret masochist. He should be the one being buried, not his friend. Not Maes, who had a wife and a daughter. A man who had everything to live for.

"I thought you said you were going to stay under me and help me to the top."

The words seem to be spoken in a venomous angle. Quite honestly, he doesn't know who to be angry at. His friend, the 'government', himself? He died trying to call him. He died finding information for him.

He looked back as a certain blonde place her hand on his shoulder for comfort. He was glad there wasn't anyone around. Or he hoped no one was, he couldn't bear having someone pay for his mistake. Although, this scene, he would hardly call it a mistake.

"Sir?" She asked, cautious.

"We're off-duty. You shouldn't have to refer as me as such."

Her head tilted slightly, studying him for a moment. Were his words in a double meaning?

"Is it raining...Roy?" She asked, hesitating on the last part.

"No, I hate the rain."

"A little rain helps the flowers grow, Roy."

He smirked lightly as he looked at her for a few seconds. "I believe the flowers are beautiful enough."


	15. Eden

I've had a few chapter already written, but I;ve been lazy editing and posting them. Heh...typical me.

Kurodrogan: Hehe, thanks!

Saff: I try xD.

Wingless: I like trying to write Ishbul, it's just interesting to me.

Bella: Hm, yes, it seems Roy carries a lot on his conscius. Quite sad, no?

Neo: Thank you

* * *

_**Chapter Fifteen:**_

_**Eden**_

* * *

Sometimes, he feels as if his relationship with Riza was forged on the Devil's playground. To him, it was very reminiscent of the forbidden fruit. Of course he could have a bite and be cast away from Eden. Or his could continue to act as if there's nothing between them and continue playing with their rules. 

Of course, this was damned from the start. Not only was she his master's daughter (whom he was very protective over) now his subordinate. Why couldn't the cards at least come out to his favor? Haven't he sacrifice enough?

What more of a person could he ask for? A woman who's willing to sacrifice everything for him? She patiently helped nurse his career.

Yet still, for the two, there was an incessant longing.

In the end, man was barred from Eden. If she was just one meter closer, the old bible school lesson may repeat itself. We all seek thing that is forbidden. For now, it's all in the hands of time.


	16. I have no idea what to name it

I've been so lazy in trying to update this in a timely manner! I didn't mean for it to take so long. I cannot blame school because I've been doing amazingly well for doing nothing. I guess you can call this an early Christmas present. I just realize what the date was, so I couldn't make it a holiday fic. Well, I can write a holiday fic, but that require effort. I just realized how many reviews this had, 89. I'm amazed. I hate how typo laden my drabbles are. Someday, I may revise this. I don't want others to disregard it because of my carelessness.

To my reviewers if they are still reading

Neo: I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Saffire: I like mixing religion with FMA, it seems to be contradicting but fit together so well

Pickles: Thank you, I've been wanted to try it. It amazed me how short the chapter was. I do deal with drabbles.

Wingless: I doubt Roy will purposely hurt Riza. Some reason, I wouldn't be surprised if Roy did hurt Riza. Something about the two that screams tragedy.

* * *

**Chapter Sixteen:**

**I have no idea what to name it**

**

* * *

  
**

"Stop speaking about another man while you're sleeping you me." She warned the older man lying beside her. She liked Hughes pretty well, he was an amazing man from the short time she had spent with him. Seriously, can this man just shut up and allow her to sleep?

This was a time of war, the rules loosen but this still felt dangerous to her. The man was simply laying beside her, fully clothed. She knows if it wasn't for a sniper rifle within arms reach he would try to take advantage of her. Well, that was what she jokingly wants herself to believe. The man had an incredible amount of self-control.

"What are you? Jealous?" She could feel him smirking behind her as she resisted the urge to roll her eyes. It was amazing how this man can be so troubled by his demons can pull a 180 and become so playful around his Second Lieutenant. For him, she acted as his confidant and therapist.

It was one of the few rare days where no incidents have happened. They could rest a bit uneasily, jumping at every noise. The silence always bothered the soldiers greatly, their minds wondering what was the enemy planning. The hot, dry desert air from earlier in the day usually lulled them to sleep but the two can't seemed to be quiet enough to fall asleep.

This was one of those nights where the two slept side by side, for to help protect each other was the excuse they used. Also for warmth, it was amazing how quickly the desert air can cool so quickly. Riza followed him out to the desert, he have essentially robbed her of her innocence. He felt he owed her father that much... to protect his daughter. Even if she came out here to protect him.

On nights such as this, Roy wonders what it will be like to hold her hand. Will they be callous and hard from the long, hot days of handing her rifle? Or surprisingly soft and smooth, like a lady? Her skin showed signs of sunburns from days of laying in the sun unprotected. Riza wondered what was it like to bury her head on his chest. To have his hand stroke her hair, his mouth whispering words of admiration in her ear. How will it feel for the two to lie together as lover?

They used the excuse that it was against the rules. Their reasoning drive much deeper than that. If she allowed herself to love him, his enemies will use her against him. She will become his weakness. They will become careless in their romance. Roy knows if they ever get involve, he will be the first to slip. He always manage to get himself in some type of trouble and she will swoop in and save him. Wasn't the genders suppose to be reversed?

"Sir," She said after a long silence, "Shut up."


	17. SunMoon

I'm back to writing random drabbles at ungodly hours of the night. I'm surprised I haven't started writing in class (I have before, but let's not go there)

Bella Rose: I meant in my other chapters. I need to write light stuff, I kinda started with this to stop writing cute, fluffy things xD

Wingless Fairy: Belated, but I hope you have a nice holidays. Mine was (Or I think so) It's a bit suspicious to speak of another man while in bed with a woman, but Hughes probably made poor Gracia wonder a few times.

* * *

**Silent Devotion**

**Chapter Seventeen:**

**Sun/Moon**

What made the moon so special? The moon signifies the darkness, cold, and loneliness. Yet he always shined so brightly, but the moon only reflects the sun's light. What made Roy Mustang so special? It was a question which she often thinks upon, for a man she will willingly give up her life for there was no answer; it made her life seem ridiculous. When she stayed the night, helping her superior officer finish his paper work, the moonlight frames his feature almost in a surreal manner. His pale skin seems to glow under the light, his dark hair proving to be a starch contrast. Roy Mustang often asks himself where will the Earth be without the sun?

The sun nurtures, gives growth, and helped humanity thrived for so many generations. As blessed as the sun is, the sun can also steal life away, killing man crops, taking away it's warmth from the undeserving humans. He has done so when he decided to pursue his dream. The military wasn't an ideal place for lovers. His dreams will be realized, but then what? With the new reforms in the government, it's doubtful he be alive long enough to celebrate. Both he and Riza commuted many atrocities during their duty in Ishbal, their hands was stained and will only be cleaned with their deaths.

Roy was a man, there were many moments where he wished he can pull her over his desk and fulfill his desires. Of course, his dear Lieutenant will never allow him to ever do so without painfully castrating him. Such a cruel fate, to be so close to a person you dearly want to spend your life with and be denied of the offer.

Riza glance turned towards the window surprised that Roy haven't started one of his late night philosophies – which is unusually close to allegory. She shouldn't count herself so lucky just yet, the night wasn't over yet and they were hours away from dawn.

"Hawkeye, I've been thinking." He started office, turning towards Riza.

"That's dangerous, Sir." She quipped dryly placing a finished worksheet on his desk.

"Where would I be without you..." The man muttered sarcastically crossing his arms.

"Dead." Admittedly...she have a point, the sun always outshine the moon.


	18. Tease

Here I am writing another fanfic in the middle of the night. I can never imagine these two ending explicitly as a couple or even kissing. Don't ask me why, but I can imagine them teasing and flirting with each other in private. I think I have them somewhat out of character...I think I fail at making this as a humor fic. As some of you may be able to tell, this plays havily off the latest manga chapter, I just decided to use a different more causal setting.

* * *

**Silent Devotion**

**Chapter Eighteen:**

**Tease**

There was very few men who had the balls to tease Riza Hawkeye, Colonel Roy Mustang may have his painfully removed if he continues.

"There are very few things in life that is pure as a woman tears." There will never be anything in his life that will be as pure as _her_ tears. Hawkeye was one of the, no, _is_ strongest person he ever met, for her to fall in destitute because of him was more painful than his wounds. What a foolish woman, did she know he is nothing more than a pathetic man with an overbearing martyr complex.

Fraternization was not outright forbidden in the military, but being involved with any woman will be too obvious and devastating of a weakness. With his quick ascension through the ranks, she was his rock, she also played a duel role as his weakness. King Bradley took away his queen and Roy was not pleased. He needed her guidance, her reassurance. Riza was his oxygen, like a moth to flames, Roy could not bare to stay away.

"Sir, you are falling on the borderline." She replied taking a deep breath. Must he dredge up that horrible memory? There was never a moment in her life where she felt desperate and miserable, not even when her father died. How did their lives become intertwined with one another? "The Fuhrer a was much better superior, I never worked under anyone who was competent and _actually_ completed their work on time." Although, the Colonel will always be her favorite janitor.

"Besides, aren't you useless in water?"

Will she ever let that go?! Okay, he admits that Scar was a few centimeters away from scattering his brain on the pavement... By now, she should know when water was involved that is when the Flame Alchemist was at his deadliness.

"Why, Lieutenant, you of all people should know how a small spark can form an inferno."

For a moment, it seems his gaze was in adoration. Was she misinterpreting anything? Roy almost made her into a flustered woman.

"Colonel, shouldn't you have better things to do beside flirting?"

"Well, you are my dearest subordinate."

What was about this man where his words impacted her very world? This was one of the many moments in her heart where she wish they can stand as man and woman, not as superior and subordinate. She has to wonder was this attraction forged as a cosmic joke. Was it unrequited when both can never pursue their feelings?

His posture relaxed as he leaned back in his chair, an arrogant smirk playing along his features. Riza was afraid what may come out of his mouth. "Well, there is something purer than a woman's tear, but I do believe we know who that precious artifact belongs to, correct Riza?" Roy mentioned offhandedly.

This was the man she would follow to hell and back if needed be. What a foolish man.

Sadly, Roy never accomplished his goal to become Fuhrer.


	19. The Halo Effect

Since I'm going to have a lot of free time, why not write a few drabbles. I usually like to place weak philosophy in my writings, but here's a bit of psychology. If I only paid so much attention in my English classes. The Halo Effect refers to someone when viewing something or someone ignores their bad qualities and only see and possibly inflate their good qualities.

* * *

**Silent Devotion**

**Chapter Nineteen:**

**The Halo Effect**

After Hughes Death, he viewed her as his saviour, his redemption, his atonement. All his sins was cast away when she touched him.

How blind was he not to notice her bloodied hands? Moments when she was lost in a trance while she was washing the imaginary blood away from her hands. Nights when she woke in a cold sweat clinging to him. All that he ever saw was her strength, the strength he will never have.

Roy Mustang wanted ignorance to remain. He wanted to worship her. It was such a high pedestal to place a mere mortal.

"I'm not as pure as you wish to believe." Her words haunted him, her sad smile gave him nightmare.

No, Riza Hawkeye wasn't the angel he imagined.

Riza Hawkeye is a sinner, she is human. The love of his life was exactly like him. They were allowed to embrace each other with their bloodied, filthy hands.


	20. Once upon a time a fragmented tale

Dark Duchess: I believe it's pretty fitting myself. It'll be sad if Royai gives me a reason to pay attention in class xD

I saw a fic with a similar style and I'm a copycat xD. I tried to make the story interlocking, but I'm not too sure if I succeeded . Either way, I hope it's entertaining.

* * *

**Silent Devotion**

**Chapter Twenty:**

**Once upon a time (a fragmented tale)**

_i. even if the world ended_

Some say the world will end in ice, others proclaim it will end in fire. Roy Mustang was assured his would end in flames, the very alchemy he used to claim lives will return to bring him to hell. If the world ended tonight, he would not care. This unreasonable, illogical, and selfish emotion called love just wanted this woman to remain by his side. If he was going to hell, why avoid tasting the forbidden fruit?

_ii. but now_

While father is out to work, the children will play. Riza was the child who could not avoid playing with fire, after all, look who her father is. Chaste kisses did not remain that way for long when she found herself laying on her father's desk. She found herself breathless with his body pressing against his. When did her mouth become so skillful? Why did his tongue on her skin feel so damn amazing? His tactful fingers was running up her thighs, lifting her skirt higher and higher until a reckoning force came into the room.

How silly of the teenagers to allow their hormones to control them while in the older Hawkeye study. How foolish of Roy to touch his teacher's daughter. It was fun, but now they have to face the consequences.

_iii. martyrdom_

Today was the day she sacrificed her identity as a human.

When he asked her to kill him if he ever strays off his path, the humanity in her will not allow her fingers to pull the trigger. There was a decision to be made, his goal or her humanity.

She wanted to be the first and only martyr to his cause.

_iv. burned_

Roy did not understand what overcame him when he ambushed and slammed her back against the wall and forcefully kiss her with the arrival of today paperwork falling to the floor like leaves. When she pushed him away, there was an obviously pained look on her face when she rubbed the back of her head. Guess he should have watched his strength.

"I guess that doesn't work in real life as well as it does in movies." He sputtered out as Riza gathered the files from the floor.

"Neither do romances, sir."

And as always, she was correct.

_v. the story of how i became human_

Once upon a time, Roy Mustang was a monster. A man who killed simply because he was ordered. His eyes was no longer his own, but one of a killer. Imagine his surprised when he realized a monster can feel heartbroken. When he saw her in the desert he felt guilt. When he saw her eyes, he felt his heart shatter.

He lured a girl into the desert and turned her into a murderer.

After that, it was decidedly so. Roy Mustang was not a human. There wasn't any way he can ever embrace a woman with soiled hands without staining her.

Roy only felt human when he embraced her, whispered his thoughts and worries to her. She understood him. Her own hands was dirtied (but still...) she knew he was not anyone hero. That was the day he fell in love. Monsters cannot feel love, only humans (and maybe dogs.)

_vi. kisses_

Kisses between the two was sparse. Maybe it was his most endearing quality, but his smirk made her trigger finger itched. There was many days where she wished she wipe the smirk off his face. Today, she was going to make it her own.

It was one of the rare moment in his life where he was utterly speechless, why it's not everyday where his First Lieutenant surprise (or mouth rape) him with a kiss. When she pulled away Roy didn't know to feel contempt or pull her in his lap. The latter was a much preferable option, but filing as a memory was safer.

"Hm, Lieutenant, that can be classified as assault or sexual harassment." Giving the persona he made for himself, it was laughable. Who'd believe she was the one making sexual advancements.

"Have you forgotten the time you nearly gave me a concussion?"

"Never mind..."

He could have sworn she was mocking him, it was rare and scary to see her smirk.

_vii. science_

Although both will love to believe in love transcending all, there was no logical explanation for it. Looking through the world with a scientific eye made everything more beautiful. How many nights have they theorize that maybe every molecule in their body was made for one another. Many nights, if they were silent enough, they can hear their hearts beating in a synchronized rhythm. There was a biological explanation concerning why, but why ruin a fantasy? One day, there was a possibility when their bodies was gone their atoms will fuse, creating a bond more beautiful than while they walked the Earth. A type of reincarnation, if you will.

Everything was only wax poetics, but everyone needs something to believe in.

"I always enjoyed the idea of equivalent exchange." Riza admits one night.

"Hm?" He mumbled sleepily, turning his attention towards her.

"Nothing ever disappear, merely exchanged." She mused.

"Indeed." He smiled when he felt her hand moving over his.

_viii. beautiful_

Roy found himself observing Riza one day while she was cleaning the sand out of her rifle. A sandstorm put her out of business temporarily, but there was something about her. Women back home would kill to have the skin she has, allowing it to become red and sunburned was blasphemous. Cleanliness was a foreign word here. Roy enjoyed her for all her imperfections.

If he was to die here, he wanted her to be his beautiful angel of death. He deserved it, her father work was used for destruction. Roy felt like he deceived her, but fire was never meant to help others, only destroy.

_ix. a bittersweet romance_

Deeply, Riza wishes their romance will have a happy ending. Happy endings do not happen in real life, they did not deserve it. How she wishes she could lie beside him without worrying if his career is thrown off path. Humans did not need love to survive. She feels he is a drug to her, without Roy, she knows she will lose the will to live. The words sounded pathetic, but it was possible to die from heartbreak.

This was their story, a bittersweet romance without a happy ending. To them, this was their happy story, a man and woman who fell in love in the wrong situation.

Believing in reincarnation was starting to sound lovely.

_x. tension_

The lesson they learned while as teenagers was, they cannot keep their hands to themselves. Even into adulthood, it holds true. Even their coworkers can sense it was an underlying tension (and had a betting pool where if the two was screwing the living daylights out of each other.

There was never one person who instigated it, just a touch. Oh, she wouldn't mind if I brushed against her. He would love it if I kissed him.

"What is your opinion about office sex?" Roy asked undoing the buttons on her military overcoat, sense when have these things became so hard to remove.

"It's an idiotic, senseless, and risky way to get caught." Those words did not stop her from unbuttoning his dress shirt, how did she manage to be so lucky?

"So not the desk this time?"

"Never again."


	21. A Thin Line

I need to stop being so lazy and actually complete half written chapters for this. -has been writing smut- Ahem, well here's the next chapter.

Kitsune Moonstar: Thank you, I was hoping the story didn't come of as disconnected and emotionless. -beams-

* * *

**Silent Devotion:**

**Chapter Twenty-One**

**A Thin Line**

The beginning was simple, it started out as _only _a physical relationship. Who cares if two people simply fucked each other? They are adults, there wasn't any feelings between the two. Maybe that was the lie they wanted to believe. Riza would invite Roy over, he'll accept and they would have sex. A simple scientific formula, correct?

How wrong were they.

She wasn't an angel, neither was he a devil. Just human, one with many flaws, guilt weighing heavily on their conscious, and regrets. But, damn it, he could not deny how beautiful she was. His mind argued it was lust, only a primal urge. Mr. Hawkeye will enjoy to hear how his former apprentice was using his daughter now. It was probably his teacher worse nightmare. No man wants to see their daughter defiled by the very person he hoped will look out for the best for his daughter. Great job, Roy.

The more time they were together, there was a feeling that went beyond lust. There was a possibility he was rationalizing his guilt. Love? He didn't know, the only thing he did know how everything fell into place being next to her. Cliché, as educated as he was, there was not any other words for it. Simply he cared for her more than a subordinate. He cared for her like a woman, a person on equal footing. Hell, someone he can openly be with and it troubled him greatly. They are not allowed to fall in love or anything that required a hint of humanity. What did he get himself into?

No words was shared in the beginning. He gathered his clothes and leave and she will go back to sleep. Things developed and she offered for him to stay the night. The words came as a surprised, but he agreed. Soon, it came to where sex wasn't even the intended reason why he came over. The sweet nothings that lingered on her mind after he left. The sensation that burned his skin for days. For once, their life seemed normal. During the time, he came to value their conversation. The two nearly forgotten how it feels when the mask faded away.

"I think this may go beyond what we intended." He sighed closing his eyes. It was a clear opening for her to escape. Her professionalism probably wouldn't allow her to continue, who was he kidding?

"Too late."

Two words that have poignant meaning. The man turned on his stomach snaking an arm around her waist. "Figures." They never had the best of luck. Sure, they had a history. When both enlisted in the military, everything became bittersweet. That's no way to start a romance. Life throws too many wrenches.

Riza thinks it was the first time she has seen him in peace since this whole affair started. Plenty of conflicted emotions battled within her knowing this was not right (nothing ever is in life.) The rueful excuse of she was a woman and should have known she would have developed feelings for him. Any other man she could have continued with her life, those types of men did not deserve it. When two lives was intertwined in so many ways, the only expectation was denial. From the secrets that laid scarred on her back, to shooting him in the back if he derails from his goal.

In the beginning, she can honestly say there wasn't anything between them. The teenage crush has since faded away with the hormones. The months continued and there was a hint of anticipation when he knocked on her door. Afterward, what happened? Thoughts that have been locked in her mind slowly came to surface. Every woman wants to be a man last, the secret knowledge of him returning to her thrilled her. Guess this will add to their list of secrets.

Pitiful, wasn't it?


End file.
